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For the Guests By Melissa J Wantuck  |
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 It’s typical to think of wedding articles covering topics on planning a wedding, but what about the guests? Unless you’re a wedding coordinator, most people will be a wedding guest more often then the number of times they’ll help plan one.
So what are some things guests should be aware of? Just like with wedding planning etiquette, there is guest etiquette. Let’s look at that.
Who’s Invited
Depending on the type of wedding a couple is planning, they may or may not include children in invitations and if they’re tight on space, single guests may or may not be invited to bring a date. One way to know who is invited as part of the invitation is who the invitation is addressed to. If it says “The Smith Family” you can conclude everyone in your home is invited. If is addressed to one person, just that person is invited. For couples, they’ll be listed informally by first name or formally by “Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Smith.” A single guest will be listed informally by first name or formally like “Miss Ann Smith.” If the single guest is invited to bring a date with them, the invitation will say “and Guest” after the recipient’s name.
Wedding planning involves a lot of numbers so if you’re unsure the number of guests, make a conservative choice and don’t bring anyone other than who is named on the invitation.
RSVPs
Attending a wedding means sharing the day with the couple and witnessing the commitment vows they make to each other. They want to know you’re planning to come and if you can’t make it, to tell them that as well. A wedding invitation should come with a stamped RSVP card or a phone number to call or email address to write to. You should always respond to an invitation, even if you aren’t going. The couple need to no numbers so they can plan for all of their guests. Replay to the invitation as soon as possible or no later than 3 weeks before the wedding.
What to Wear
The only color that should really be shied away for a guest is white. Leave that color to the bride alone.
Some have thought black to be a taboo color but it isn’t, especially for formal evening weddings and receptions. It may not be a good idea for an outdoor daytime wedding in the middle of the summer heat. You may find you’re too warm to enjoy the festivities.
Wedding invitations may indicate the type of even they’re having, from casual or themed to an evening cocktail party requiring fancy dress.
Gift Giving
Choosing a gift for the couple can be fun or maybe even stressful if you can’t find what you want or are concerned about cost. If you’re not sure what to do, start with the couple’s gift registry. See what has already been purchased and look through the items to get an idea of the couple’s interests and tastes if you plan to buy them a gift that’s not on their registry.
If you buy a gift from their registry, have it shipped directly to the couple instead of taking the gift to the wedding to save the couple having to pick up gifts after the reception.
Gift-giving etiquette says you have up to a year after the wedding to give a couple their gift. This offers some leeway if you’re waiting for an ordered item, handmade item, or to buy the gift you want to give them. The sooner you send the gift the better so you don’t forget about it.
You can always simplify your gift by purchasing a gift card to the store where the couple is registered or give cash. Place the gift card or money in the wedding card and take it to the wedding, or mail it to the couple after the wedding.
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